Chasing Expectations

Setting Yourself up for Disappointment

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Ok I know I promised you a blog post about training and trialing abroad, and that’s coming, but I’m just not feeling it today. What I am feeling is a crazy swirl of thoughts about expectations, frustration, puppy training, and taking breaks. There’s a whole bunch of themes in here that I’ve been sort of ruminating on for a few months now, so bear with me while I try to put them down into somewhat coherent thoughts.

I’m frustrated, burned out, and overwhelmed. There I’ve said it. When I look back at this year, I can recognize that it’s been an awesome year, with amazing adventures, some big competitions, and running my heart out. But I can also say that my performance, and that of my teams, is not where I want it to be. I have big dreams and big plans, but I don’t have the skills to back them up. This weekend, I was in over my head, competing with some killer teams on great courses, and was honestly at a loss on how to handle certain sections of the course. Ok, no big deal, we need to broaden our handling skills. What was frustrating to me though, was that my inability to handle was, at it’s heart, due to a lack of foundational skills in several key areas; weave pole independence, contact performance, and my nemesis…the dreaded rear cross. These aren't new issues, I’ve been “managing” my way through them for several months now, but this weekend things seemed to come to a head.

I’ve been doing some soul searching, and it’s time for a competition break. We’ve been going non-stop since we returned from Denmark (and honestly even before that). The constant travel is hard, and what makes it worse is the constant frustration over poor performance. My expectations haven’t aligned with the skills that we currently have, and I need to stop trying to brute force the issue hoping we’ll get “lucky”. So we’ll finish out the month with the few trials we have lined up (I can’t get my money back so might as well go run some courses), then head into training mode for a bit.

Now you may be wondering where the hell puppy training comes in to all of this. Well, first and foremost, Fin is still a puppy. He’s 2. He’s been to 4 countries, competed in 4 cups, and a Regional. Honestly, he’s better travelled than some humans I know, and the thing I keep forgetting is that he’s still a baby dog. Facebook popped up a lovely reminder that on this day 2 years ago, we were working on a jump grid at 12”, he didn’t know how to weave, and had never been on a full height contact. Just this May, we were struggling to make it around a Novice course, trying to learn each other and learn the game. Holy smokes! I think I need a tattoo on my forehead “He’s a baby” so I don’t forget that again.

The second element tied in here is around different expectations for different dogs, which I’m not gonna preach on, but just wanted to take note of where I’m at. Remember how I just said that 2 yrs ago Fin was doing jump grids at 12”? Yeah he was about the age that Rue is now. She’s seen some tunnels, and done some obstacle commitment, but I haven’t even picked the bars up off the floor. It’s funny to me, that I was go go go with Fin, but am very much not with Rue. Is that because of how hectic life has been? Because I’ve lost my training space? Or because of the frustration and disappointment I’ve been feeling? Honestly, right now I’m not sure. The first two feel like excuses, but maybe that’s all there is to it. So I’ll take this competition break, and do some trainings with my baby dogs (both of them), maybe I’ll even teach them both to rear cross!